Our Fourth

Our third year of parenting was different.

Well each year is never the same.

But what made it challenging for us last year was leaving our life in PH behind and starting a new one in a different country.

Different environment,

new people,

new culture, traditions, ideals,

more serious adult situations,

long distance relationships from family and friends,

dealing all these far from our primary support system,

has been overwhelming.

Self-discovery happens every single day.

Each day, we feel that we’ve become more aware about

our coping mechanisms, 

self-esteem level,

the depth of patience we have,

and life views we’ve held.

It has made us ask ourselves who we really are and who we want to be.

Which goes back to the question what makes us us?

And sometimes the answer takes months as difficult emotions arise.

Dealing with these emotions can sometimes lead to admitting that we may all be products of dysfunctional family dynamics.

Being committed to personal growth becomes a struggle because realising our generational traumas and accepting them is painful.

We sometimes go back to bad habits that can numb the pain.

And then try to stop and fall for it again.

All of these inner struggles go alongside the daily grind.

What keeps us sane?

It’s Luna.

Consistency in her routines has been our main priority since she was born.

And trying to keep it has helped us to stay mostly sane - her consistent eating time, play time, bath time, and sleeping time.

There has been less variance in her routine, except for having more activity options to help her make meaning.

(Meaning making is trying to understand something by building it from their previous experiences. To help children do this, they need varied experiences and opportunities to learn.)

Being fully present during her play time which can be in the library, playground, museum, or zoo reminded us what brings us joy.

I realised that knowing ourselves and honouring the small things that give us life is way more important than thinking of big ways to help change the world.

Staying true to ourselves, sticking to our values, and setting boundaries lead to love within which can extend outwardly. 

It makes you want to do things for others without any agenda at all.

And it’s the kind of love that can only come from our Father.

Thus, connecting with our inner self leads us to Him.

He is in each of us.

So what makes us us? It’s the story that we tell to ourselves about us. 

And my life story has been about His love for me and my family.

His unlimited blessings. His abundant gifts. His overflowing love. For all of us.

Thinking of this invites gratitude to come in.

Then, I’d suddenly feel that I already have everything that I need to face the new world that we have.

And the cycle goes on.

Growth is truly not linear.

It’s such a beautiful mess.

Anyway, I just feel proud of myself and my best parenting partner, Martin, for surviving our 3rd year of parenthood.

Happiest 4th birthday to our Luna and happy 4th pareniversary to us. 🥲